Film

Maria St. Maria will be doing Film Commentary.
Update...Ms. St.Maria was fired on Friday June 20 '08. Ms. St. Maria left the office in a huff and called over her should as she departed ....' eat it ' . She will not be missed !!! Filling in for the time being will be a local resident Harvey Fescue of Red Hook..a retired kosher butcher and now a film reviewer...

Films will be rated on the ' Air Wick ' standard. Air Wick is a product used to cover bad smells. The rating of ' 5 WICKS' indicate the worst, putrid,repellent, odious, insufferable and foul.

A rating of '0 WICKS' indicate a must see. Anything in between, will be discussed in length.

Sex and the City ( the movie) A film deserving of 5 WICKS...a hideous example of the wasting of good Kodak film. Film runs at the rate of 90 feet per minute, this film is 117 minutes, you figure it out. As an American I am ashamed of this waste of film while the people in China have little or no film
at all. Reviewed by Bob Lemkowitz

Honestly good readers, the films are so awful that I have rented the following old titles for the week-end.

The Bad and the Beautiful
High Noon
On the Waterfront

I personally find Ms. Sara Jessica Parker hideous and hard to look at...do I have any agreement ?
Same goes for Ms. Jolie..in order for them to look good to the general public the camera should be wrapped in a horse blanket.
This is the opinion of the reviewer and does not represent the opinion of the editor.

CHINATOWN 1974 2 of the best lines in film history...
Jack Nicolson ' Hey Claude, where'd you get the midget ? '
Roman Polanski ' You're a very nosy fellow kitty cat '
Nicolson and Polanski hated each other and Nicolson was fearful that Polanski would actually cut his nose off in that scene with the trick knife Polanski devised.

STAGECOACH ...THE 1966 STINKER OF A REMAKE OF AN AMERICAN MASTERPIECE ...
                             THIS REMAKE STARRING THE UNFORTUNATE ALEX CORD AND DIRECTED BY
                             GORDON DOUGLAS WILL FOREVER LIVE IN INFAMY. A FILM WHICH DESERVES
                            TO GO GENTLY INTO THAT GOOD NIGHT AND STAY THERE...
                            NOW, HE ORIGINAL FILM STARRING JOHN WAYNE DIRECTED BY JOHN FORD
                            INTRODUCES WAYNE WITH A HIGHLY UNCHARACTERISTIC VISUAL FLOURISH:
                            THE CAMERA DARTS TOWARD WAYNE IN A RAPID DOLLY SHOT, AS THE ACTOR
                            STANDING IN FRONT OF WHAT APPEARS TO BE A PROJECTED BACKGROUND
                            TWIRLS HIS RIFLE IN A GRAND THEATRICAL GESTURE. THE SHOT BRIEFLY GOES
                            OUT OF FOCUS AS FORD'S CINEMATOGRAPHER , BERT GLENNON, STUGGLES TO
                            KEEP UP WITH THE CHANGE IN SCALE - AN EFFECT THAT MAY HAVE BEEN
                           ACCIDENTAL, BUT WHICH GRANTS WAYNE AN ALMOST SUPERNATURAL AURA,
                           AS HIS FACE EMERGES FROM THE BLUR TO FILL THE SCREEN IN A DOMINATING
                          CLOSE UP. THIS IS HOMERIC MYTHMKING PURE AND SIMPLE.....( and this is coming
                          from someone who is not a Wayne fan ) B. Lemkowitz

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